Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Arranged Marriage versus Love Marriage

Ok, this is a very personal post. My personal post. I disclose it here, not because I need to tell everyone that I am looking for something or someone, but, more because writing clears my head more than everything else.

My father and mother got into an arranged marriage. I dont want to write about them because this is about me and not them.

I have had my fair share of love stories from my school life. I had a brother who was just one year younger to me and I was always scared of him discovering my love stories and telling my parents who in turn would have me married among my own relatives who were villagers and who hit their wives when the husbands business suffered. My own parents' marriage was no example either for me to look for an ideal inspired married life.

I was in fifth standard when I felt what was the need for a girl or boy to need someone after watching Indian movies. Kannada, and Hindi along with their music got into system fairly quickly. English was totally banned as they included adult scenes.

However, I saw one movie with Silk Smitha biting her lips and trying to seduce someone. I tried that on someone whom I knew in class. He just got scared and called me a Bhooth and was stunned.

Then, my best friend M told me that she was in love with a relative in her family circle. I did not know what to do. That guy's name was same as her father's name. I did not know how to deal with such a situation. To think of a guy who had a father's name as husband's name was almost palpable, unforgivable. For me, fathers provided for the family, and husbands became ideal fathers after a while of spending time with the girl, and made more babies. Mothers took care of the children all the time.

That was my idea of family. My love stories have failed. My attempts at having a normal girls life have failed. Then after much dilly dallying, and exorcism type of threats from my parents and siblings, I thought arranged marriage would work and got into one. I am divorced from him.

That inspired me to write this post. What kind of marriages are these called?

  1. Girl meets Boy. Boy meets Girl. They get married? Without Love, money, looks, status, background, culture, parents convenience, etc involved? This is what I call True Love. Its like being god. To be very honest, I have miserably failed in finding True Love. I have failed at being a god in my own life, let alone others.
  2. Girl meets (______) Boy.  Fill in the blanks with the above options of Love, money, looks, status, background, culture, parents convenience, and vice versa. What do we call this? For lack of a better word, I call this prostitution under the hood of (______). For both girl and the boy. Should I call this a business transaction?
  3. Coming to business transaction, let me talk about this. Girl meets boy for a purpose, boy has another purpose. How do we go about this? I dont want to go about this. 
  4. I have finally come to a decision after this. The best way is one that I have opted for. I am a girl. I have some boys abilities when it came to talking dirty or doing heavy loading stuff. So, mostly, I tell people, " I have this ability". "Show me what you can give me for what you have". I might consider marrying you if your abilities are at maximum utilization for me". I rarely find that there are no takers for this type of marriage. 

Any other stories that you have thought of? Please let me know in the comment box. 

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